I've Won Satan's Lottery.

Charlie Had Sophie Strapped To His Chest Like A Terrorist Baby Bomb When He Came Down The Back Steps. She Had Just Gotten To The Point Where She Could Hold Up Her Head, So He Had Strapped Her In Face-out So She Could Look Around. The Way Her Arms And Legs Waved Around As Charlie Walked, She Looked As If She Was Skydiving And Using A Skinny Nerd As A Parachute.

I Like A Girl With A Substantial Bottom,' Said Renoir, Drawing In The Air The Size Bottom He Preferred.

She Was An Alien, Really - A Sort Of Eating, Pooping, Tantrum Machine - And He Didn't Understand Anything About Her Species.

Like God's Own Chocolate, I'd Lick Her Shadow Off A Hot Sidewalk

If There Was Anything I Learned From John The Baptist, It Was That The Sooner You Confess A Mistake, The Quicker You Can Get On To Making New And Better Mistakes.