I've Had To Learn And Discipline Myself

The Key, I Would Say To Any Fledgling Humorist Starting Out, Is To Make Sure That Sloppiness Is Part Of Your Recipe. That Way They Come To Expect Fumbling And Clumsiness And They Say, "oh, It Must Be A Charming Part Of His Personality."

I'm Opposed To A Lot Of The Time That We As A Civilization Have Come To Spend Looking At Screens. For My Money, Life Is Much Delicious Damn Near Everyplace But Inside That Screen.

Actually, I'm Not Super-kickass At A Lot Of Things.

Give A Man A Fish And You Feed Him For A Day. Don't Teach A Man To Fish And You Feed Yourself. He's A Grown Man, Fishing's Not That Hard.

For Years I Drove A Big Ford F250 Pickup. That Was My Ride Because Two-thirds Of My Work Was Wood Work, And I'm Always Driving Up To Northern California, Where I Harvest Salvaged Trees.