I've Got Soggy Thighs. It Must Be

Monty Python Paid Me £20,000 To Write, Direct And Assemble Them - The Cheapskates! I Told Them I'd Never Earned Less In A Year Since Leaving Cambridge. The First Show Sold Out In 43 Seconds And We Ended Up Performing Ten In Total. We Had No Idea There Would Be Such Demand.

When, In 1966, I Progressed To The Frost Report, I Was Paid Ten Guineas A Minute. I Was Guaranteed Three Minutes A Week, So This Was Good Money.

My Father, Who Was A Sergeant In The Raf During The Second World War, Was Killed In A Hitchhiking Accident While Returning Home On Compassionate Leave. As A Result, My Mother Had To Get Work, As A Nurse, And At Seven The Raf Put Me Into A Boarding School And Ex-orphanage Called The Royal Wolverhampton School.

I Liked Doing Live Things, And With The Circus We Had A Live Audience.

Life Doesn't Make Any Sense, And We All Pretend It Does. Comedy's Job Is To Point Out That It Doesn't Make Sense, And That It Doesn't Make Much Difference Anyway.