I've Found That My Humor Goes Over

I Can't Pretend That I'm A Great Student Of The Art Of Comedy Because Anybody That Becomes Philosophical About Humor Doesn't Know What He's Talking About.

Would You Put A Pastrami In Your Mouth If You Didn't Want To Eat It?

The Clintons Represent The Highest Level Of Corruption, But No One Has The Courage To Mention It. Instead They Talk About Rudy Giuliani. Over A Lifetime Of Excellent Service, There's Never Been A Hint Of Corruption In His Behavior But Everybody Investigates Him.

Ladies And Gentlemen, You Can't Please Everyone. Take My Girlfriend - I Think She's The Most Remarkable Woman In The World. . . . That's Me . . . But To My Wife . . .

Comparing What The Democrats Offer To What The Republicans Offer Is Like Comparing The Money I Have In My Pocket To What Bill Gates Has In His.