I've Eaten Things That Didn't Complain This

I'm No Day At The Beach. And If It Is A Beach, It's Hampton Beach. Ever Been There? It's Not Nice.

Here's The Problem With Easter. The Catholic Church Needs To Pick A Date Because It Keeps Moving. And I Think The Reason They Always Have Easter Moving To Different Dates Is To Catch Us.

I've Eaten Things That Didn't Complain This Much.

You Can't Teach Somebody How To Be Funny. You're Either Funny, Or You Ain't.

I Think We Should Take Iraq And Iran And Combine Them Into One Country And Call It Irate. All The Pissed Off People Live In One Place And Get It Over With.