It's So Much Easier To Be Cynical.

I Was With A Famous Comedian When A Young Fan Walked Up And Asked For An Autograph. The Comedian Blew Him Off. I'll Never Forget The Look On The Young Boy's Face. He Was Devastated.

After 34 Years, I Feel Like I Did When I Was Starting Out. I Feel Excited And Feel I've Never Been Better Doing What I Do.

I'm A Kid From Minnesota. I Like Seeing Movie Stars! So I'm There At The Ivy, I've Got My Shrimp, Eddie Murphy Comes In With His Gang. I Said To The Waiter, As Any Good Midwestern Boy Would, "hey, Put Eddie's Check On My American Express Card, But Don't Tell Him That I Did It 'til I'm Gone." Next Day I Got A Call From Manager Who Said, "eddie's Doing A Movie, He Was Very Impressed That You Bought Him Lunch." So Remember: Sometimes Buying People Lunch Can Really Work Out Well For You.

My Mom Ate Every Piece Of Butter In The Midwest, She Lived Till She Was 90. And My Dad, He Smoked, He Drank - We Finally Just Had To Kill Him.

I Used To Do My Dad Smoked, He Drank, We Finally Had To Kill Him.