It's Not Called Cocaine Any More. It's

Yesterday In New York City, Donald Trump Officially Changed His Political Affiliation From Republican To Independent. And Donald's Hair Has Switched From Pelt To Carpet Sample.

You Know What Is Interesting, Condit Is Very Conservative. He Voted To Post The Ten Commandments In Schools. Yet, He Himself Broke The 11th Commandment, 'thou Shall Not Put Thy Rod In Thy Staff.'

The Flinstones Wore Furs, They Ate Red Meat, And Had A Stoneage Philosophy. In Fact, They Were The First Republicans.

Border Agents Have Now Been Issued Air Guns That Shoot Pepper Balls At People Coming Across The Mexican Border. Have They Thought This Through? Is That Going To Bother People From Mexico? Pepper Balls? Don't These People Eat Jalapenos? Isn't That Like Firing Meatballs At An Italian Guy?

Paris Hilton Got 45 Days In Jail. A Lot Of People Were Upset About This - They Were Hoping For The Death Penalty.