It's Hard To Convince People That You're

There Are Two Kinds Of Humor. One Kind That Makes Us Chuckle About Our Foibles And Our Shared Humanity -- Like What Garrison Keillor Does. The Other Kind Holds People Up To Public Contempt And Ridicule -- That's What I Do. Satire Is Traditionally The Weapon Of The Powerless Against The Powerful. I Only Aim At The Powerful. When Satire Is Aimed At The Powerless, It Is Not Only Cruel -- It's Vulgar.

There Is No Inverse Relationship Between Freedom And Security. Less Of One Does Not Lead To More Of The Other. People With No Rights Are Not Safe From Terrorist Attack.

Margaret Atwood, The Canadian Novelist, Once Asked A Group Of Women At A University Why They Felt Threatened By Men. The Women Said They Were Afraid Of Being Beaten, Raped, Or Killed By Men. She Then Asked A Group Of Men Why They Felt Threatened By Women. They Said They Were Afraid Women Would Laugh At Them.

The Thing Is This: You Got To Have Fun While You're Fightin' For Freedom, 'cause You Don't Always Win.

Everyone Knows [george W. Bush] Has No Clue, But No One There Has The Courage To Say It. I Mean, Good Gawd, The Man Is As He Always Has Been: Barely Adequate.