It's Good That People Don't Like You.

Britney Spears' Album Blackout Is One Of The Hottest-selling Cds In The Country. We're In A Bad Place, People: The World Is Melting, We're At War, And Two And A Half Men Is A Huge Hit.

Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea. Please Get Me Out Of Jail And I Promise I Will Never Drink Again. Drink And Drive. I Will Never Drink And Drive Again. I May Even Start My Own Group Fashioned After Madd, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, But I'll Call It Awltdash, Alcoholics Who Like To Drink And Stay Home.

I Was So Frivolous For So Many Years. It Was So Much Fun, But You Feel Guilty About The Brain Energy You Use To Think About Whether Some Celebrity Was Sleeping With Another Celebrity. The Conjecture That Goes Along With That. You Feel Like Your Mind Has Been Shot Apart.

Paris Hilton Is Going On A Goodwill Mission To Rwanda. It’s The First Time An Entire Third World Country Will Have To Get Immunizations For A Visitor.

You Should Always Speak Your Mind, And Be Bold, And Be Obnoxious, And Do Whatever You Want And Don’t Let Anybody Tell You To Stop It.