It's Arguably The Best Newspaper In The

The Important Thing Is Not To Be Defined By What Others Think Of You.

If You're Driving Your Car And Someone Winds The Window Down And Gives You The Finger And Calls You An Asshole, Instead Of Giving Him The Finger Back And Calling Him An Asshole Back, You Just Pull A Funny Face, And He Doesn't Know How To React To That, Because You're Using Different Rules.

I Like The British Public. There Is Something In This Country Called Tall Poppy Syndrome. You're Good But You're Not That Good, Pal, Ok? The Natural State Of Our Nation Is Slightly Miserable, And Probably The Healthier For It. In America You Don't Get A Key Down The Side Of Your Bentley.

I Always Think That, Even When People Behave Badly, If You Like Something Deep Inside Them, Then There Is A Tiny Bit Of Nobility - They Wish They Could Be Good.

I Used To Do Stuff At College. I Could Do Voices. I Could Make Some People Laugh. I Wasn't The Class Clown, But I Knew I Had This Skill.