It's Almost Impossible To Be Funnier Than

If You Want To Know The Feeling [of Labor Pain], Just Take Your Bottom Lip And Pull It Over Your Head.

No Matter What, When You Major In Theater Arts Whether You Want To Write Or Be A Director Or Design Scenery Or Whatever, When You Are A Freshman At Ucla Then - I Guess It's Still The Same Way - You Had To Take An Acting Class.

Originally, I Came From Texas, And We Lived On - I Guess You'd Call It Welfare, What We Called Relief.

Adolescence Is Just One Big Walking Pimple.

I Always Had A Weak Chin Because We Couldn't Afford To Correct My Bite, Which Could Have Been Corrected With Braces. So The Chin Was Always Weak. And I Always Was - Kind Of Hated My Profile. And I Thought Wouldn't It Be Nice Someday To Feel The Rain On Your Chin Without Having To Look Up.