It's About Time Trees Were Good For

Remember That Postcard Grandpa Sent Us From Florida Of That Alligator Biting That Woman's Bottom? That's Right, We All Thought It Was Hilarious. But, It Turns Out We Were Wrong. That Alligator Was Sexually Harassing That Woman.

Accept These Grateful Tears...for Thee They Flow, For Thee... That Ever Felt Another's Woe.

I Should Rather Labor As Another's Serf, In The Home Of A Man Without Fortune, One Whose Livelihood Was Meager, Than Rule Over All The Departed Dead.

Sensitive Love Letters Are My Specialty. 'dear Baby, Welcome To Dumpsville. Population: You.'

Always To Be Best, And Distinguished Above The Rest.