It's A Completely Useless Emotion - Jealousy.

I Keep My Stand-up Comedy Notes In A Pile On My Desk. I Don't Organize My Act. I Keep Myself In A State Of Confusion. It Stresses Me Out, But I Prefer Creative Chaos.

Comedians Usually Are Rooting For The Underdog. I Mean To Take A Shot At An Underdog I Think Is Really Stupid And Low And Not Funny.

When People Heckle Me, I Have The Microphone. And The Press Has The Microphone.

You Know, I'm A Comedian The Same As Bill Maher And Jon Stewart. We All Came Up The Same Way. The Three Of Us Have Interest In Politics; I Call Us Fundits, We're Fundits! We're Not Pundits!

Those Flowers Were Picked By Illegal Immigrants. And They're Not Voting For You, B*tch.