It Was As Relaxing As Being Tickled.

Now We Get Quite A Lot Of Complaints That We Don't Feature Enough Affordable Cars On The Show So We'll Kick Off Tonight With The Cheapest Ferrari Of Them All!

Racing Cars Which Have Been Converted For Road Use Never Really Work. It's Like Making A Hard Core Adult Film, And Then Editing It So That It Can Be Shown In British Hotels. You'd Just End Up With A Sort Of Half Hour Close Up Of Some Bloke's Sweaty Face.

Ambition Is A Very Dangerous Thing Because Either You Achieve It And Your Life Ends Prematurely, Or You Don't, In Which Case Your Life Is A Constant Source Of Disappointment. You Must Never Have Ambition.

The "public" Seems To Have Bought Into This Belief That Life Can, And Should, Be Run Without Risk, That All Accidents Are Avoidable, And That Death Is Something That Only Happens To People Who Eat Meat And Smoke.

Some Say His Droppings Have Been Found As Far North As York, And That He Has A Full Size Tattoo Of His Face, On His Face. All We Know Is He’s Called The Stig.