We All Think We're Going To Get

My Mom Ate Every Piece Of Butter In The Midwest, She Lived Till She Was 90. And My Dad, He Smoked, He Drank - We Finally Just Had To Kill Him.

I Live In California, The Worst Place In The World For Fat People. There Are Three Of Us. They Have Us On Eight-hour Shifts, So It Works Out.

I Have A Cousin Ernie Who Buys Stuff. He's Got A Big Snowblower That's Actually The Biggest Snowblower You Can Buy, With A Remote Control, So He Doesn't Even Have To Go Outside. He's Got The Microwave And A Satellite Dish, It's All In One. He Cooks And Watches At The Same Time.

Playing Mrs.baskets Was An Interesting Experience For Me. It Was The Most Rewarding Thing I've Done Since Life With Louie. So You Never Know: If Somebody Asks You To Put A Wig And A Dress On, You Shouldn't Just Say "no" Right Away.you Should At Least See If There's Money, Fame, And Satisfaction Involved.

I'm A Big Game Show Fan. When You're A Poor Person, You Watch Game Shows. I Don't Think People Realize That. Maybe Everybody Watches Game Shows, But When You're Poor, You Live Vicariously Through Those People.