It Really Bothers Me When Some People

Sometimes During My Set I Invite Volunteers Up On Stage To Get Speed-roasted And I'm Worried That I May Have Hundreds Of People Rushing The Stage All At Once. Luckily I'm A Black Belt In Karate And I Can Fend Them Off.

I Would Vote For You For President But I'm Against Big Government.

People Are Not Afraid To Be Very Direct With Police. And I Think That's Part Of The Problem Is That People Are Angry At The Cops And Then The Cops Are Stressed Out And They, You Know, Pay It Backwards, So To Speak.

My Life And My Career Have Been A Series Of Happy And Not So Happy Accidents.

I Think Jersey Stands Alone, And Because I'm From Jersey, I Never Make Fun Of Where People Are From. I'll Make Fun Of What They Look Like, But I'll Never Make Fun Of Where They Are From. Jersey Is Special.