It Is Ludicrous To Read The Microwave

Mother's Words Of Wisdom: Answer Me! Don't Talk With Food In Your Mouth!

I Have Always Felt That Too Much Time Was Given Before The Birth, Which Is Spent Learning Things Like How To Breathe In And Out With Your Husband (i Had My Baby When They Gave You A Shot In The Hip And You Didn't Wake Up Until The Kid Was Ready To Start School), And Not Enough Time Given To How To Mother After The Baby Is Born.

Cleanliness Is Not Next To Godliness. It Isn't Even In The Same Neighborhood. No One Has Ever Gotten A Religious Experience Out Of Removing Burned-on Cheese From The Grill Of The Toaster Oven.

I Was Too Old For A Paper Route, Too Young For Social Security And Too Tired For An Affair.

There Is Nothing More Miserable In The World Than To Arrive In Paradise And Look Like Your Passport Photo.