Is This The 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway?

I Don't Want Anything Bad To Happen To The United States, But If North Korea Ever Drops A Nuclear Bomb On This Country, I Swear To God, I Hope It Lands In Hartford.

I've Done 10 Or 11 Pilots For Network Television, Which Is Ridiculous.

There's Something About Doing Stand-up That's Cathartic.

Jerry Seinfeld, He Was Doing Letterman Show All The Time, So He Kind Of Had An Excuse, That People Know The Jokes Already. He Didn't Have Time To Do Stand-up. A Guy Like Me, I Have No Excuses.

I Started When I Was 14. I Figured Out That's What I Wanted To Do When I Was 14. Even When I Was Six, I Can Remember People Telling Me, "you're Gonna Be A Comedian," And All This Stuff.