Inflation Is The Crabgrass In Your Savings.

New Yorkers Are So Impersonal, If It Wasn't For Muggings There Wouldn't Be Any Contact At All!

Love Is So Confusing - You Tell A Girl She Looks Great And What's The First Thing You Do? Turn Out The Lights!

I Love To Watch Those Old Movies On Late-night Television, Particularly When A Couple Get Up From A Champagne Dinner In A Posh Restaurant And The Hero Hands The Waiter $3. But The Best Part Is When He Says, "keep The Change."

They're Combining That New Fertility Drug With A Birth Control Pill For People Who Don't Want Triplets.

Older People Shouldn't Eat Health Food, They Need All The Preservatives They Can Get.