In Fact, I Don't Watch A Lot

In Fact, I Don't Watch A Lot Of Contemporary Comedy For Fear Of Being Influenced By It.

When I Used To Do The Edinburgh Festival, There Was A Bunch Of Guys Selling Fresh Oysters And I'd Eat Ten Daily - Marvellous.

In 1987, I Was In Edinburgh Doing My First One-man Show. I Took Part In A Kickabout With Some Fellow Comedians And Tripped Over My Trousers And Heard This Cracking Sound In My Leg. A Couple Of Days Later I Went Into A Coma And Was Diagnosed With A Pulmonary Embolism.

When I Turned About 12 Or 13, I Realised That Being Funny Wasn't About Remembering Jokes. It Was About Creating Them.

If You Stay In A House And You Go To The Bathroom And There Is No Toilet Paper, You Can Always Slide Down The Banisters. Don't Tell Me You Haven't Done It.