In A Good Marriage Each Is The

I’m Frightened Of Eggs, Worse Than Frightened; They Revolt Me. That Round White Thing Without Any Holes, And When You Break It, Inside There’s That Yellow Thing, Round, Without Any Holes… Brrr! Have You Ever Seen Anything More Revolting Than An Egg Yolk Breaking And Spilling Its Yellow Liquid? Blood Is Jolly, Red. But Egg Yolk Is Yellow, Revolting. I’ve Never Tasted It.

There Are Several Differences Between A Football Game And A Revolution. For One Thing, A Football Game Usually Lasts Longer And The Participants Wear Uniforms. Also, There Are Usually More Casualties In A Football Game. The Object Of The Game Is To Move A Ball Past The Other Team's Goal Line. This Counts As Six Points. No Points Are Given For Lacerations, Contusions, Or Abrasions, But Then No Points Are Deducted, Either. Kicking Is Very Important In Football. In Fact, Some Of The More Enthusiastic Players Even Kick The Ball, Occasionally.

Television Is Like The Invention Of Indoor Plumbing. It Didn't Change People's Habits. It Just Kept Them Inside The House.

Give Them Pleasure - The Same Pleasure They Have When They Wake Up From A Nightmare.

This Weapon [an Ax] Is Primitive But Effective. And It's Also Guaranteed To Be Fifty-percent Painless. You See, It Takes Two People To Operate, And The Person At This End [the Handle] Doesn't Feel A Thing.