I'm Writing Constantly About All My Crazy

I'm Obsessed With Beards. First Of All, Beards Make You Look Like More Of An Animal. Second, I Kind Of Like Biting Beards; It's A Pastime Of Mine.

I Was Dating A Guy Once Who Spoke Rudely To A Taxi Driver. I Got Out Of The Cab And Walked Home. Treat People With Respect. I've Waited Tables, And That's Why I Just Exceedingly Overtip. It's Exhausting Work.

When The Clock Tick Tocks The Party Never Stops!

The People Who Come To My Shows Have Dollar Signs Drawn All Over Them. They Have Blue Lipstick. I Call Them My Animals Because They Just Go Totally Mental.

I Grew Up With Nothing - I Remember Sometimes Not Having Shoes.