I'm Very Fortunate In The Sense That

I Have To Keep Myself In Check When I Go To The Kids' Sports Events. I Sit Waaay In The Back. I Make Sure I Don't Do Too Much Cheering, You Know What I Mean? I'm Still Not Quite Adjusted To This Modern School Of Thought: Oh, It Doesn't Matter Who Wins. I'm Not All The Way There Yet, But I Accept It From The Back Row.

I'd Give My Goddamned Soul For Just A Glass Of Beer.

When They Say I'm A Great Actor, I Close My Ears Because It's Not Good For You To Think That Way.

If Men Are Honest, Everything They Do And Everywhere They Go Is For A Chance To See Women.

Take Caution In Your Tone, Commander. I'm A Fair Man, But This -- Heat Is Making Me Absolutely Crazy.