I'm The Worst Person To Tell Anybody

My Tricks Are, I Get Botox In My Forehead-i Just Have My Doctor Do A Little Shot There. If You Overdo, It Looks Bad. I Believe In Just A Little Bit. It Allows You To Keep That Mobility In Your Face. It's A Great Little Secret.

You Don't Need A Pickup Line. Just Glance At A Woman From Across The Room. Glance - Don't Stare.

Sometimes I Think Marriage Licenses Should Be Like Driver's Licenses. They Expire After A Number Of Years, And In Order To Keep Going You Have To Renew. Wouldn't That Be Kind Of Genius? It Would Force You Both To Look At The Relationship, And If It's Not Working, The Marriage Would Expire So You Could Go On Your Merry Way, Or On The Positive Side Of It, You Could Look At Each Other And Say We Really Want To Renew. What A Way To Keep It Fresh!!

All Those Girls Who Were Mean To Me[in High School], I Pay Them Back By Going Through The Drive-through Window And Asking For My Burger. That Feels Really Great.

Almost Everyone Has Or Will Experience Getting Dumped In Their Lifetime. Unless, Of Course, You're A Nun. Jesus Can't Dump Nuns.