I'm The Fun Dad, I Am Also

I Have A Whole Slew Of Doctors. I Can Count Eight In My Phone Right Now - Eight Different Doctors, All For Different Parts Of My Body. I Have Specialists.

It's Unfortunate When Kids Get Hurt, But I Wish Parents Would Monitor What Their Kids Are Doing And Watching. It's Common Sense, Really.

You Can Tell It's Good If You Light It And A Blue Flame Comes Up; That Means It's Good Moonshine And It Won't Make You Go Blind.

People Think By Challenging Me They're Going To Show They're Tough. But I'm Not Tough. Decent Drinker. Not Such A Bad Kisser. But Not A Great Fighter.

I Feel Like My Eyes Have Gonorrhea.