I'm Thankful For Sarah Palin's Vice Presidential

I Know A Little Bit About Handicapping. If The Horse Has An Iv, You Want To Stay - Away From It.

I'm Really More Prolific Than Most Stand-ups. My Act Changes. I Do Fold In New Experiences, New Observations, Whatever You Want To Call It.

The Definition Of Adulthood Is That You Want To Sleep.

I Only Do Two Things In My Life, And That's Take Care Of My Kids And Work. Fortunately, These Are My Favorite Things To Do, So It Works Out.

I'll Probably Never Have Children Because I Don't Believe In Touching People For Any Reason.