I'm Sad To See The Passing Of

If You Let Someone Talk For An Hour, You're Gonna Have A Pretty Good Idea Of Who They Are, And I Think That's More Rewarding Than Me Sitting There Going, "that's Complete Bullshit About Health Care."

I Think Things Evolve Into Jokes. I Don't Generally Write Them Down As Jokes. I Talk Them Out.

I'm Not A Narcissist, But I Definitely Have Gotten Enough Explosive Narcissistic Shrapnel From My Father. I'm Sort Of Wired That Way, But I Don't Feel That I'm Pathological, So All I Can Pull From Is My Own Existence And My Knowledge.

Most Of The Comics That I Talk To I've Never Talked To For More Than Ten Minutes Ever. So 95 Percent Of The Time You're Really Hearing The First Conversation Between Me And That Guy On The Podcast.

For 15 Years Of My Life I Smoked, I Drank, I Used To Do Drugs... But During That Time, I Never Once Thought I Was Going To Die. But The Second I Set Foot On A Stairmaster -the Second- I Am Sure My Heart Is Gonna Explode And Blood Is Gonna Spray Out Of My Nose.