I'm Proud To Say I've Never Been

To The Pilot Of A Deep Sea Submersible, Upon Finding Out What Would Happen If The Craft Sprung A Leak While Submerged. I'll Trust You To Make Sure That Doesn't Happen.

Comedians, Such As Yourself, Jon Stewart And Others, Are A Valuable Supplement, And Here's Why: Good Journalism At Its Best Frequently Speaks Truth To Power. What's Happened With Journalists - Again, I Don't Except Myself From This Criticism - In Some Ways We've Lost Our Guts. We Need A Spine Transplant. What's Happened Is Comedians, In Their Own Way, Speak Truth To Power And Fill That Vacuum That We In Journalism Have Too Often Left, Particularly Post 9/11.

I Quote The Late Ed Murow. ... He Said: 'look, People Listen To Me When They Want An Eyewitness Account. 'they Think I'm A Pretty Good Reporter. But When It Comes To My Opinions, Mine Are Not Worth Anymore Than The Guy At The End Of The Bar.' And I Believe That About Myself.

Foreign News Is Considered An Expletive. Thoughtfully Written Analysis Is Out, 'live Pops' Are In. 'action Jackson' Is The Cry. Hire Lookers, Not Writers. Do Powder Puff, Not Probing Interviews. Stay Away From Controversial Subjects. Kiss Ass, Move With The Mass, And For Heaven And Rating's Sake, Don't Make Anybody Mad- - Certainly Not Anybody You're Covering, And Especially Not The Mayor, The Governor, The Senator, The President Or The Vice-president Or Anybody In A Position Of Power. Make Nice, Not News.

It's The Ratings, Stupid, Don't You Know? They've Got Us Putting More Fuzz And Wuzz On The Air, Cop-show Stuff.