I'm Only A Beer Teetotaller, Not A

It Would Positively Be A Relief To Me To Dig Shakespeare Up And Throw Stones At Him.

I Am Very Sorry, But I Cannot Learn Languages. I Have Tried Hard, Only To Find That Men Of Ordinary Capacity Can Learn Sanskrit In Less Time That It Takes Me To Buy A German Dictionary

Oh, Come! That Boot Is On The Other Leg. Why Should You Call Me To Account For Eating Decently? If I Battened On The Scorched Corpses Of Animals, You Might Well Ask Me Why I Did That

A Pessimist Is A Man Who Thinks Everybody Is As Nasty As Himself, And Hates Them For It.

A Lifetime Of Happiness! No Man Alive Could Bear It: It Would Be Hell On Earth.