I'm Nothing If Not An Optimist.

Instead Of Reading Vows At The Wedding Ceremony, They Read Hacked Sony Emails.

Airport Screeners Are Now Scanning Holiday Fruitcakes. Not Even The Scanners Can Tell What Those Little Red Things Are.

Presidential Candidate Howard Dean Is Now Being Attacked For Dodging The Draft. I Never Knew This About The Guy - But Now I Know This Guy Is Presidential Material.

The Ayatollah In Iran Says He Believes That He Got The Letter, But He Thinks He Accidentally Threw It Out With His Crate & Barrel Catalog.

I Can Hardly Wait Until Donald Trump Announces His Celebrity Cabinet.