I'm Not For Everyone. I'm Barely For

I'm A Guy That After Having Experience In Radio And Stuff, If I Can Trust The People I'm Working With, I Get A Real Thrill With Working With Other People Who Are Good At What They Do.

I Used To Be Jealous; I'm Not Jealous Anymore. And A Miracle Happened To Me, Because If You're Jealous, It's A Cancer, It's A Plague On Your Spirit, It Really Is. And I Actually Cured Jealousy In A Very Weird Way - I Cured It With Mathematics. And I'm Not A Math Person At All, But I've Been With My Wife For About Seven Years, So We Have Had Sex Probably, I'd Like To Think, Like, 9 Million Times Or, At Least, 1,500. So, The Way I Figured It, If She Goes Out And Screws Some Other Guy Once - I'm Still Winning.

Jokes Do Finish Themselves. I Really Do See Them As Ongoing Conversations About Personal Themes That I Ruminate On.

In My Life, I Didn't Get Into Comedy To Be - I Had No Business Model. All I Wanted To Do Was, Basically, Finish Becoming Myself. And You Stand In Front Of People And Be Seen And Heard In This Format. I Thought It Was The Most Practical Format For Me To Express Whatever It Was I Was Going Through. Whatever My Ideas Were In My Evolving Philosophy About Life. I Obviously Don't Sell Out Theaters. I'm Not A Household Name. I'm Not Incredibly Consistent In Terms Of Doing The Same Act Over And Over Again, And I'm Definitely Working Out A Lot Of My Existential Issues Onstage.

I Think Most Other Comics Are Like, 'i'm Going To Do My Fkin' Act And That'll Be That.' With Me, It's Like, 'what If I Forget My Jokes? What If I Can't Pull It Together? This Is Going To Be A Fking Disaster!'