I'm Not Familiar With The Metric System.

If I Were To Just Focus On Stand-up, I Could Actually, Paradoxically Enough, Be Home Way More, Because I Would Leave On A Friday, Go Do A Couple Theaters Friday, Saturday, Maybe Sunday, Come Home.

Any Comedian Who Tells You How Dark And Dangerous They Are, They're Not Dark And Dangerous.

It’s The Method Of Consumption, Not What’s On The Plate.

If The Victories We Create In Our Heads Were Let Loose On Reality, The World We Know Would Drown In Blazing Happiness.

Knock On Wood, My Groupies Tend To Be Very Artistic, Creative People - Sometimes Way More Creative Than I Am.