I'm Not Capable Of Having An Affair.

Asking The Front Wheels Of A Car To Do Their Normal Job Of Steering While Handling More Than 170 Is Like Asking A Man To Wire A Plug While Juggling. Penguins. While Making Love. To A Beautiful Woman While On Fire, On Stage. In Front Of The Queen. It's All Going To Go Wrong.

Change Gear, Change Gear, Check Mirror, Murder A Prostitute, Change Gear, Change Gear, Murder. That's A Lot Of Effort In A Day.

The Problem Is That Television Executives Have Got It Into Their Heads That If One Presenter On A Show Is A Blonde-haired, Blue-eyed Heterosexual Boy, The Other Must Be A Black Muslim Lesbian.

God May Have Created The World In Six Days, But While He Was Resting On The Seventh, Beelzebub Popped Up And Did This Place.

Boredom Forces You To Ring People You Haven’t Seen For Eighteen Years And Halfway Through The Conversation You Remember Why You Left It So Long. Boredom Means You Start To Read Not Only Mail-order Catalogues But Also The Advertising Inserts That Fall On The Floor. Boredom Gives You Half A Mind To Get A Gun And Go Berserk In The Local Shopping Centre, And You Know Where This Is Going. Eventually, Boredom Means You Will Take Up Golf.