I'm Not At My Best When I

I'm As Pure As The Driven Slush.

I'll Come And Make Love To You At Five O'clock. If I'm Late, Start Without Me.

My Father Warned Me About Men And Booze But He Never Said Anything About Women And Cocaine.

I Have Three Phobias Which, Could I Mute Them, Would Make My Life As Slick As A Sonnet, But As Dull As Ditch Water: I Hate To Go To Bed, I Hate To Get Up, And I Hate To Be Alone.

A Republican. A Republican. That's Worse Than Being A Goddamned Communist!