I'm Not An Hour Late. You Guys

I Love The Holiday Season, Almost As Much As I Love Touching Myself In Front Of Orphans.

I Don't Like The Term 'black People', I Find It Demeaning To Those Of Us That Actually Qualify As 'people'.

Its Not That I'm In Love With Myself, I'm Just Trying To Pick Up Everyone Else's Slack.

It Used To Be That You Came Out Of School, And You Got Married - Those Who Were Going To Get Married. But My Peers Are Getting Married In Their Early 30s, So Now There's Like This Extra 10 Years Of That Angst.

I Once Fisted Two Babies And Then Used The Corpses As Boxing Gloves To Fight Off The Grieving Parents.