I'm More Of A Writer Than An

If You Are A Woman And You Bought This Book For Practical Tips On How To Make It In A Male-dominated Workplace, Here They Are. No Pigtails, No Tube Tops. Cry Sparingly. (some People Say “never Let Them See You Cry.” I Say, If You’re So Mad You Could Just Cry, Then Cry. It Terrifies Everyone.)

Feminists Do The Best Photoshop Because They Leave The Meat On Your Bones. They Don’t Change Your Size Or Your Skin Color. They Leave In Your Disgusting Knuckles, But They May Take Out Some Armpit Stubble. Not Because They’re Denying Its Existence, But Because They Understand That It’s Okay To Make A Photo Look As If You Were Caught On Your Best Day In The Best Light.

Sometimes When You're Doing A Comedy, The Director Will Yell Out "alts" And Then The Director Gets The First Laugh.

You Have To Try Your Hardest To Be At The Top Of Your Game And Improve Every Joke You Can Until The Last Possible Second, And Then You Have To Let It Go.

The Same Ten Minutes That Magazines Urge Me To Use For Sit-ups And Triceps Dips, I Used For Sobbing.