I'm Kind Of This Control Freak That

Real Life Has Always Let Me Down. That's Why I Do The Monologues. I Have Always Said I Would Rather Tell A Life Than Live A Life. But I Have To Live A Life In Order To Tell One.

And Just As I Was Climbing Into That First-class Seat, And Wrapping Myself In A Blanket, Just As I Was Adjusting My Pillow Behind My Head, And Having A Sip Of That Champagne, And Just As I Was Bringing Down And Adjusting My Thai Purple Sleep Mask, I Had An Inkling. I Had A Flash. I Suddenly Thought I Knew What It Was That Had Killed Marilyn Monroe.

I Say That I Can't Make Anything Up. I Think Of Myself As A Collage Artist. I'm Cutting And Pasting Memories Of My Life. And I Say, I Have To Live A Life In Order To Tell A Life. I Would Prefer To Tell It Because Telling You're Always In Control, You're Like God.

I Consulted A Therapist At Mass. General. After About 20 Minutes, He Stopped Me And Said, 'you're Just A Big Existential Garbage Pail. Go Home And Relax.'

I Knew I Couldn't Live In America And I Wasn't Ready To Move To Europe So I Moved To An Island Off The Coast Of America - New York City .