I'm Jewish, But I'm Totally Not.

Also, I Learned Whether You Are Gay, Bisexual, It Doesn't Matter, You Know... Because, At The End Of The Day, They're Both Gross. But Mostly, I Learned That Elderly Black Women Are Wise Beyond Their Years... But Younger Black Women Are Prostitutes.

I Do Love Poop. I Can't Help It. The Heart Wants What It Wants. I Enjoy Being Clever And Pithy And Political, But Nothing's Going To Get Me Like Dumb Stuff.

If I Were Somebody Else Looking At My Character, I'd Be Like, "she's Beautiful." I'm Practicing. I'm Not Succeeding.

I Learned That People In Wheelchairs Are Allowed To Have Marathons … Which, To Me, Seems Like Cheating, But What Are You Gonna Say?

I Mean, I Love Being With Friends And I Love Kissing And Loving Someone To Pieces. But It's Hard To Find Someone Who Doesn't Ultimately Start Judging You And Your Choices.