I'm In Fact A Hair Under Six

My Sophomore Year I Spent Exactly One Day On The Jv Football Team. It Was The Tryout Day.

If I Had A Time Machine I Would Go Back 30 Years And Show Up At My Grandmother's Apartment Before The Gargantuan Meals She Would Serve And I Would Help Her.

While Some Of My Closest Friends Were Jocks, It Seemed That They Spoke A Different Language With Each Other. Joining In Their Conversation Was Fraught With Risk.

I Love The Excess Of Christmas. The Shopping Season That Begins In September, The Bad Pop Star Recordings Of Christmas Carols, The Decorations That Don't Know When To Come Down.

I Have Such Respect For People Who Do Non-fiction Casting After Settling On The Grandparents We Got For This. It Is Really Hard To Find People Who Are Not Fame-whores. We're Lucky These People Actually Wanted To Spend Their Time Doing This. All Of Them Would Have Much Rather Been Cooking Without The Cameras, Being With Their Families. That's Why They're Great Characters.