I'm Hooked On Email. That's Right, Kids,

Nothing Says Romance Like Hobos, Martyrs And Decapitations.

Now, I Know Obama Was Trying To Take The Long View, But Talking About Solar Energy In The Middle Of The Oil Spill Is Like Watching Your House Engulfed In Flames And Saying, 'we Really Should Change The Curtains.'

Don't Protest Outside Of A Rich Man's House In The Daytime, You'll Just Scare The Maid, And That's Arnold Schwarzenegger's Job.

People Sometimes Say To Me: "craig, Get Out Of My Garden."

Thank Heaven Election Day Is Over. No More Campaign Ads, No More Mud-slinging, No More Candidates Pretending They're Straight. It's Over!