I'm Gonna Hump Ya. Like Deputy Dog...

When It Comes To Morality, I'd Rather Have An Unfaithful President Like Bill Clinton, Who Tried To Reform Welfare, Than A Faithful George Bush Who Propagated An Illegal War On The Rest Of The World. So That Is Where My Morality Stands.

I'm Not Elitist. I Like To Do Crowd-pleasing Stuff Which Is A Bit Smart, But Is Just About Belly Laughs.

People Come Up To Me In Supermarkets And Demand Humour. And The Less Amusing I Am, The More They Piss Themselves. So I Say, "i'm Doing My Shopping, Mate, Ok?" And The Guy Will Be On The Floor In Hysterics. Quite Odd. Eventually I Do Have To Say Something Funny So I Usually Go For Something Pathetic Like, "it's A Nice Place To Shop But I Wouldn't Like To Live Here!" And They Roar Again. Wet Themselves. I'm Lucky Though That I Am Not Massively Famous, I Can Get The Tube Without Much Bother. Must Be Awful Being The Beckhams.

When I Play Myself, I Want To Be A Slightly Better Person. It Just Agrees. Everything I Play About Myself Is Kind Of True, But It's Amplified. We All Edit, Don't We? If You're Self-aware, You Stop Yourself - You Know How To Behave Properly.

When You See A Crowd Of People Jumping Up And Down At A Pop Concert, All Gloriously In The Moment, I Don't Think You'll Ever See A Comedian There. They'll All Be Standing At The Sides, Looking At How It All Fits Together.