I'm Going To North Pole To Help

President Obama Said That If He Could Have Any Superpower, He'd Want The Ability To Speak Any Language. That's So Everyone In The World Could Tell Him He Picked One Of The Lamest Possible Superpowers.

Happy Birthday To Arnold Palmer, Who Turned 82. That's 41 Years Iced Tea And 41 Years Lemonade.

Jeb Bush Gave A Speech Yesterday. He Had A Pretty Rough Time. He Accidentally Said That Isis Has 200,000 Men Instead Of 20,000, And Then He Mispronounced The Name Of The Terrorist Group Boko Haram. So If History Has Taught Us Anything, Jeb Is Well On His Way To Winning The White House.

Earlier This Week Donald Trump Gave An Interview With Cnn At A Winery He Owns In Virginia. It Turns Out Trump's Winery Makes Two Different Kinds Of Wine: White Wine And Not-white Wine.

I Became A Yankees Fan For A Few Years. But Now, I Gotta Say, I'm Really Rooting For The Red Sox.