I'm Finally Going To Be Able To

It Probably Does Make It More Difficult To Enjoy A Good Laugh At Someone Who's Onstage, Seemingly Yelling At You. But I'm Not Yelling At The Audience, I'm Yelling At The World. It Genuinely Sucks If People Are Taking It That Way. But I'm Not Talking To Individuals.

What Happened To Our Friendship? I Really Think It's Our Obligation As Friends To Be Brutally Honest And Be Frank With Them And Say, 'look, I'm Sorry, But Your Baby Is Fking Boring.'

[on The Dating Handbook] 'with A Telescope, Some Munchies, And A Warm Blanket, Watch For Halley's Comet.' Yeah. I Like That. There's No Time Limit. Just Sit There And Grow Old Together.

I'd Be Curious To Find Out, But I Don't Think People In The Entertainment Industry Are Proportionally More Or Less Serious Politically Than Anyone In The Landscaping Industry.

I Was Heavily Influenced By Andy Kaufman And Steven Wright.