I'm Concerned About Organized Religion Getting Away

I Think Pornography Is The Only Art Form Where You Can Be Videotaped On A Shaky Handy Cam Sucking Off A Horse And Be Considered A Star.

Maybe If You Live In Brooklyn, You Don't Need To Hear That? But Please, Trust Me, In Most Of America, They Do Need To Hear It. And They're Quite Thankful That Somebody Came Out And Did It. For An Hour And A Half In That Theater, For Once, They're In The Majority.

I Still Think That, Hopefully, You're Not Ahead Of The Jokes, And I Think That Has Value. There Is A Punchline And It's Pointed - And, Again, Whether You Think It's Funny Or Not, That's Subjective.

There Is Nothing Interesting About Just Seeing Me Doing The Show Then Seeing The Fans And How Much People Love Me.

All My Friends Are Always Telling Me How Hard It Is To Have Kids. 'oh, David, It's So Hard.' That's Not Hard. I'll Tell You What Hard Is. Try Talking Your Girlfriend Into Her Third Consecutive Abortion. Yeah, That's Hard, That Takes Finesse. You're Just Inconvenienced.