I'm An Agnosto-theist. I Cross Myself On

I'm Not Good Looking. I'm Very Strange - A Very Bony Face On An Enormous Skull, And I Don't Like To Be Naked Because I Don't Like How I Look Naked. And - No, No. I Own A Lot Of My House, Because I'm Irish And From People Who Never Owned Anything. So I Could Have A Lot More Trappings Of Wealth If Every Time I Had 20 Extra Dollars I Didn't Pay Off More Of The Mortgage.

I Got Picked On A Lot, Even By Teachers Too. I Liked To Listen To Musicals And Bake, And My Homeroom Teacher Found Out And Mocked Me In Front Of The Whole Class For Baking.

My Dad And Mom Were More Like World War Ii-era Parents, Even Though It Was The 1960s, Because They Were Both Born In The '40s. They Were Young Adults Before The '60s Even Happened, And Married, And Already Having Kids. But By The Time We Were Adolescents In The '70s, The Whole Culture Was Screaming At Parents, "you're A Good Parent If You're Open With Your Kids About Sex." They Attempted To Be Open With Us About Sex, And It Made Them Want To Die, And Consequently, It Made Us Want To Die.

My Dad Was A Homicide Cop In The Gay Neighborhood In The City When Gay Neighborhoods Were Desperate, Depressing, Sad Places Run By The Mob. The Only Gay People He'd Met When I Came Out To Him Were Corpses.

Today's Unspeakable Perversion Is Tomorrow's Kink, Is Next Week's Good Clean Fun