I'm A Wiseass And A Smartass, And

The European Countries Are Really Hoping To Do Well In The Olympics. If They Win Gold Medals, They Can Use Them As Cash.

Snooki Is Now A Published Author. I'm Blaming Sarah Palin. She Lowered The Bar.

If It Wasn't For Coffee, I'd Have No Discernible Personality At All.

I Saw A Robin Redbreast In Central Park Today, But It Turned Out To Be A Sparrow With An Exit Wound.

When We Started The Show, There Were Mixed Responses. Half Of The People Said, 'that Show Doesn't Have A Chance.' The Other Half Said, 'that Show Doesn't Have A Prayer.'