I'm A Vulgar Lounge Entertainer, I Don't

I Think The Scores For Olympic Gymnastics Are Affected By What Countries The Judge And The Gymnast Are From. That's Wrong. That Type Of Political Pandering Isn't Meant For Gymnastic Olympic Events. It's Meant For The Supreme Court.

The Three Drunkest Cities In America: Fresno, Riverside, And Whatever Mel Gibson Is Driving Through.

It Takes A Long Time To Become A Lawyer Because You Need Three Things - A Bachelor's Degree, A Law Degree, And A Desire To Worship Satan.

Historically, When Americans Don't Know What To Do Next, They Go To Paris. Benjamin Franklin Is Like: 'what Am I Going To Do Now? I'll Go To Paris!'

They've Found A Link Between Chemicals In Shampoo And Obesity. If You're Eating Shampoo, Your Weight Is The Least Of Your Concerns.