I'm A Strong Person, But I'd Never

I Like People-watching And Fading Into Crowds.

I'd So Much Rather People Think I Was Funny Than Pretty.

My Way Was Not To Be The Petite, Gorgeous, Little Cheerleader. My Way Of Getting By Was Making People Laugh.

I Think It Became Blurry Because I Grew Up In A Very Private Family. I Mixed Privacy And Secrecy Up Somewhere Along The Line. Everything Became A Secret, And I Thought That Was How You Should Live. Lying About Everything. The Mask I Put On As A Kid To Survive Was The Funny Lady. Then The Funny Person All Of A Sudden Became Harder To Do Without Substances. Substances Let Me Keep The Mask On Longer. Until It Doesn't Work Anymore And You're Just A Mess.

Right Now One In Three Teenagers Meets The Medical Criteria For Addiction, Which Is Scary. I'm So Driven Because When I Walked Into Rehab, I Was Like, "am I Still Drunk? Did The Guys Give Me The Wrong Address? Am I At A Summer Camp?" And It Kills Them. Deaths Attributed To Drugs And Alcohol Have Overtaken All Other Emergency-room Deaths.