I'm A One-nation Tory.

My Speaking Style Was Criticised By No Less An Authority Than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It Was A Low Moment, My Friends, To Have My Rhetorical Skills Denounced By A Monosyllabic Austrian Cyborg.

Churchill Decides From Very Early On That He Will Create A Political Position That Is Somehow Above Left And Right, Embodying The Best Points Of Both Sides And Thereby Incarnating The Will Of The Nation. He Thinks Of Himself As A Gigantic Keystone In The Arch, With All The Lesser Stones Logically Induced To Support His Position. He Has A Kind Of Semi-ideology To Go With It - A Leftish Toryism: Imperialist, Romantic, But On The Side Of The Working Man.

It Is Said That The Queen Has Come To Love The Commonwealth, Partly Because It Supplies Her With Regular Cheering Crowds Of Flag-waving Picaninnies; And One Can Imagine That Blair, Twice Victor Abroad But Enmired At Home, Is Similarly Seduced By Foreign Politeness. They Say He Is Shortly Off To The Congo. No Doubt The Ak47s Will Fall Silent, And The Pangas Will Stop Their Hacking Of Human Flesh, And The Tribal Warriors Will All Break Out In Watermelon Smiles To See The Big White Chief Touch Down In His Big White British Taxpayer-funded Bird.

I'd Like Thousands Of Schools As Good As The One I Went To, Eton.

I Love Swimming In Rivers, And Well Remember Once Jumping In At Chiswick.