I'm A Huge News Junkie. I Love

And Of Course I Don't Go Anywhere Without My Pet Goldfish, Anthrax. I Always Tell Security I'm Carrying Anthrax. Yeah, Sure I Get A Lot Of Guff About It, But It's A Family Name; I'm Not Changing It.

We [comics] Create Our Own Reality On The Show. I'm In A Cocoon Of The Character's Creation. Even Within That Reality, He's In A Cocoon. While I'm An Improviser And Enjoy Discovery, The Show Follows A Script. I Have A Pretty Good Idea What's Going To Happen. It's A Very ­crafted, Controlled Environment.

Corporations Have Free Speech, But They Can't Speak Like You And Me. They Don't Have Mouths Or Hands.

I Did Learn Something Interesting [while At The Atlanta Airport]. You Have To Be A Member Of The Tsa In Order To Legally Perform A Cavity Search. My Apologies To The Staff Of Cinnabon, But You Guys Should Really Keep That Extra Frosting Where The Customers Can Find It.

Yes, Dr. King Is Pro-gun Just As Surely As Jesus Would Be Pro-nails.